LIVING (is easy with eyes closed. But I think I know [or feel?] when it's a) DREAM

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from one of the facebook-groups consisting of "introverted intuitives" like me (may their gravity center be to think or to feel):


from post by my new "friend" Sanya:

"I often wonder about myself at the end of my life looking back. What would I think? How would I see it? Would I be satisfied with how I lived, or disappointed for oppurtunities missed? Already, where I am, I wish I could go back 12 years and do it all differently (but keeping the wisdom I've gained up until now) - that is probably not a very healthy outlook. I often wonder, also, if this life is just a big, very lucid dream? If it was, I guess that I should be more daring, like my more extroverted friends."

My answer right now:

...will be more daring if life's a dream and you become conscious (=lucid) of the fact that it really is a dream... Interesting! I should surely also be more willing to take risks then (in a physical and not only psychological way).

But it already resembles my faith in reincarnation. Every dream has a wake-up, an "afterwards". So has this life too! Even if after a dream we don't have to harvest what we saw in it = a difference from real life reincarnations...?

Anyway,assume there's a wake-up from this life:
Do you feel more brave because other people becomes unreal and you don't bear full responsibility for how you treat them in the dream?
Or will you maybe still imagine they are dreaming IN the same dream as you are, a collective dream-sphere, and therefore should be carefully treated while experiencing this dream... even if it's not so deadly serious for anyone of us what really happens in this dream??? :-)




Another of Sanya's posts, that was no reply to me:

"Ha ha ha....I just realised that when I wrote this I was under quite a bit of stress in daily life & had shut-down my feeling function, in the need for a re-charge.
What made me realise my F preference (however small it may be) was the question: If a friend was over at your house, and it was getiing late, and you were extremely tired - would you ask them to leave, or just drop hints at how tired you were, or do neither, but try to ignore your tiredness & patiently wait until they were ready to leave (so as not to offend them/hurt their feelings)?....Naturally, I'd probably pick the spineless third option, thus indicating that quite obviously I'm a feeler, however hard it is for me to admit it....What a rational conclusion to come to! ha ha ha ha......I'll probably change my mind again tomorrow.

Actually, after finishing Keirnsey's book I got 50% INFP/INTP...so the search for clarity continues...Although I don't really trust myself with those questionaires anymore, as I'm likely to change responses according to my mood....?...rambling, rambling, rambling, rambling....(Note to self: one should try not to use Facebook Discussion Boards as a personal diary. My apologies one & all.)"

I wrote:

I think (no no: FEEL :D) that Sanya's last observation (=the "Note to self") capture's the core of what it means being INFP. I also imagine this explaines why this groups has a relatively very well-filled discussion board :-)

For me every day is circulating around different kinds of diary-writing, but I find it more and more meaningless to write unless there is a potential chance that someone else might read it right now and imagine something personal about my deeply introverted experiences, as they try to make their way across the universe by believing they're less and less lonely as my thoughts become more and more extraverted.

Therefore I often act as I myself run a whole "newspaper" that tries to shed light on every microscopic relation inside my head or heart, idealistically dreaming that my patterns really has a real relation to everyone I know in the whole world, in each minute, even if only one person (or none at all) actually reads my "fantasies".







Furthermore, I seem to be quite as much motivated by Thinking as by Feeling. First I thought I was INTP, but a test showed me as a little more INFP. I spend very much time trying to synchronize feelings with thoughts.



...A little later...

Sanya:

Just throwing an idea up in the air: as INTP's have an extraverted F function, would that make them seem more friendly to other people, or more likely than the other NT's to express their feelings....and so maybe be misjudged by others as feelers??

Me:

Yes :-)
I have the same (but reversed) tendency "to be misjudged". As INFP people seldom see my strongest motivation, the feeling, and experience me as someone who is extremely good at (or at least very willing to) expressing thoughts. Which is really true ;-) but not the whole picture... And then they appreciate my company for the sake of the thinking, rather than what I would like most: the feeling.


As some of us introverts observes, some of us are doing good work on social extravertion. However, in the process of learning to meet people outside one's head (or outside one's heart) it can be easier to show what we already have no problems expressing, for a thinker his/her feelings.

To make the work complete, it's a good reminder (thank you!) to realize your strongest motivation can never be too clearly expressed, if the goal is to make other understand it. I always think I will be overexplicit if I show what I feel even more than I think I already do. But that's probably because I'm already so very present inside myself :-) and often will continue to use delicate thinking to put words and symbols to deep feeling.



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