my neptunic miRror : turning eRror Round to a physical mask of Narcissus

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My most important "shift" in self-conception
during this very July was
I turned my birth horoscope 18o degrees,
from rising sign in Gemini with Moon
to rising sign in Sagittarius with Neptune,
like I've dared to do only once more before
(before travelling with class to Prauge in september -93,
a period in my upper teens when I was very neptunic).
So now this is the mirror-picture of what it has seemed to be
and I'm convinced it always has been like this
both in external and internal ways,
'cause it's much more me, really more dreamfully fishy
according to the house-activity
which anyway becomes the only difference
since the planets are in the same signs with same aspects between them.
I motivate this with
either that the whole world is mirror-shaped
compared to what astologers have regognized
or that my birth started almost half a day before,
before I took the first breath,
since I already was quite late anyway :-)
Anyway I choose to see this as the best picture of me,
better than any other I could imagine:
the sharply feeling Scorpio stuck inside a confused dream,
never changing too easy but driven by the philosophically happy horse,
rather than his superficial twin,
which I more conceive as a necessary partner (in seventh house).
Neptune in first house
the immediatly physical house of behavioural appearance
gets this description by Liz Greene in her Neptune-book:

"Neptune in the 1:st house... poses an immediate dilemma, for the nature of Neptune is antithetical to the nature of Mars. Where Mars seeks to assert it's power over life, Neptune seeks to avoid birth. Where we experience Neptune, we feel helpless and impotent, for we are in the hands of powers greater than ourselves.......

The individual may use his or her gifts of empathy and imagination to become what the world expects, aquiring power through enchanting, pleasing, and mirroring the emotional needs of others. This behaviour may mask a personality of considerable strength.......

Every personal interaction with another individual thus becomes a potential experience of salvation. Clarity, judgement and initiative dissolve as a result... ...can suggest a deeply manipulative personality. This manipulativeness is not directed toward a calculated goal, however.......

...gifted actor as it is, the capacity to charm and please begins in childhood... In adulthood, if there is no one around to provide the mirror or Narcissus, then the individual may feel increasingly isolated and unreal.

Everybody likes a rising Neptune, for it aims to please, and often embodies the magical fascination of Lutey's mermaid. Problems arise when other factors in the chart, less fluid and undefined, begin to fidget and grow angry behind Neptune's effortless charm."


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