Back to the Now.......?

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My new american female friend asked which age I (or we in the group) do prefer to go to back for a week to, if it was possible...?

She: [Every time, I usually choose 5 but today I choose 12...]

I: Yes, generally I would also choose 5 (or 4 or even 3), since fantasies/fantasy was strongest developing then, and memories began to become clear entities.

But of course I would prefer to study .......from my present state of knowledge and consciousness....... how I learned to put pictures/names/symbols to phenomenons. And the struggle for understanding mysterious things like the seven days of the week - how this really was perceived from within my fantasy then. (Or even more from within my friend's fantasies!!)

((Anyhow, during last months I've thought more about the age of 8-11, a period that I've seldom identified myself with afterwards, until now. It was full of fears and lost identity, through unvoluntary group-activities, or isolating in trying to avoid them, but so much I could have grown by doing more willfully.))


Then I replied this to something that my new australian friend answered to her question:

Hm, extremely interesting!! We seem, after all, to see Stinas idea through quite different angles...

I would be extremely motivated to go back for awhile to a choosen moment, just to experience things as I really experienced them. And so for the pure repeated Feeling itself (like listening to a wellknown sweet melody once more). But also in order to update my knowledge (=Thoughts) of how my mind percieved the whole situation.

And I don't view my past that overall "meaningless" as you seem to do (..?). Maybe that's why I seldom live here and now. I also always rather play with future possibilities than with what I have in front of me now. -Are you like me in this aspect, or more being present??

Of course, Matt, our memories can be enough, if they're clear. Otherwise going back would be like watching your memory on a big movie-screen instead of a display on your mobile-phone. And what's to prefer!?

Well, in a way you're right with not needing the physical return unless one will change something, since changes often are connected with physical results. But what I think is the INFP in me has to protest a little bit here too.

Because if I change my perception/experience of what actually happened or how something felt, my nowaday passions will struggle in different proportions. Or if I change what I thought during some periods in life, then my present memory (or from childhood seen my future memory :-)) will also be different, and thereby influence how I am now. Right!?
And therefore also what I will do now. Right!?

Or does this sound like Psychedelic Fiction?? ;-)

She asked then if I'm familiar with the concept of the film Butterfly Effect, which I can't remember that I am yet.

Later I ventilated some Solaris with a Juha who had answered Stina's question to mention book- or movie-characters we associate close with [herself: I would say Clarisse from the book Fahrenheit 451]:

I'm borderline INTP/INFP and love Tarkovsky's movies for their existential feeling, poetical camerawork combined with a harsh kind of philosophical thinking.

What about Kris are you most associating with?
Myself I can identify with his struggling to keep sharp and not going insane, trying to choose which perceptions and people to consider true or false, forced to questioning his present relation to his memories.

.......

I think can recognize myself too in your good description of the thoughts as wide-open to change from meeting ghosts in sudden room/time-positions (may they be imaginary or real), making ones memory a sometimes scary labyrinth.
This sounds in a way more INF...? ...like extraverting ones Thinking and keep Feeling introverted.
With a potential for truly understanding identification as well as for falsely projecting ones own imagination onto other individuals...


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