Giving Life tWo SomeOne

from my part of correspondation with angel CiS:


[1. it didnt sound like you wanted marriage or children with C...... (maybe with someone else?) ]

We never knew each other long time enough to find out how we were able to function together, whether a more responsible relation could have been something for us to believe in.

Especially having a child is something I think too many people are taking too easy. Maybe they're more willing to do it than I am. But if I really would put my will to growing up a baby, then I should be very very willing!! I should not meet my child or woman only one or two hours per day!! I would communicate with my child and study my child much more than so...

However, this far in my life, I still can't see a real possibility to take time for such a relation/project. Not if I will be the poet, philosopher and life-viewer that I want to continuing to be... And not to speak how it would be with more than one child...


It's strange, I've never been Christian, not even considered seriously to be. But many of the persons I become friend with, they are true Christian (or religious or spiritual in some other way).

I also understood you meant pleasure is good, but that using pleasure for creating life is much much MORE good, and that avoiding creating life is NOT good.

I will think/feel more about this.


.......while together we were together days and nights without paus. I guess it worked so fine because we were willing and able to share everything, both inner and outer worlds. Of course there were some real conflicts too. Obviously you can say it became too much during same period of time.

And after that I'm consciously trying to control my relations (or potential relations) a little more. I still long for a complete "everything-relation", but on the other hand I more and more have come to appreciate short meetings and intimate experiences without knowing each other more than in some aspects. Even though the most part is taking place in my dreams rather than physical reality.

Our relation was so much exactly that which really happened, and everything happened, right there and then....... I never had time to dream, since it already was like a living dream. And the dreaming-process was what I missed most. It's first during later years I have had some good dreams about C, since it's "no longer possible" to be together with her.


[2. you seem happier with fantasy than with having someone real.]

Yes :-)
But the fruit of fantasy must of course be watered by real meetings from time to time!! Or by good products of human art, writings or pictures from this life...

I can also (which maybe sounds very weird and chilly according to me wanna spend really much time with my wife and baby) imagine something good in the possibility giving my seed to one woman or some women who really are prepared raising a child. Or to some legal collective institution of "child-up-feeders", if there would be any need for me help contributing to life....... But not then by just chemical process - 'cause I would really value the joy and spirituality of the intercourse, and knowing which mother I would fertilize!

Should also explain that since I believe in Reincarnation (if not necessary to planet Earth again, there will be other planets too...) I don't see the absolute worth of having a child in this very life. I even think it could be best for some humans (maybe including myself) to wait until a future life to be able to focus more on the birth and parenting. The present life could be better to spend giving "spiritual fruit" and charing ones actual state developed through former actions. Even if probably not consciously remembering once having a child in another life.......


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